This week has been pretty average, I have been on a couple of 7.5 mile runs with the husband, first run was ok, 2nd run was shite... I could not run for toffee, i could not get my breathing right, i blew it. Still, not going to threat about it..
I feel life is pretty shit at the moment, (and if you read this Alan, it's not about you ok!!!)
I feel angry, I can't afford anything, i want a holiday, I don't want to go running, i liked the gym but i can't afford to go to the gym. Yes it's all about me, i work hard, yes it;s only part-time but it's pretty full on, I want to have something nice when i get paid.. what do i get ...NADA, yes i know there are people worse of, and NO, i don't know what to do about it!!
I used to drive around in new cars, now.. well now i can't even afford to put my OLD car on the road, it's mot was due and it needed work, so it's off the road.
I am finding it extremely difficult to look to the future, i don't have anything to look forward to. Yes I am looking forward to seeing Thomas and Hannah growing up and looking forward to grandchildren, but I am just waiting, sat here waiting for these things to happen. Is this what happens when you get old, you just sit around waiting and waiting and waiting!!
I know i sound like a cow but it's not wrong to want things. I want to go and see Les Miserables, really really want to see it, but I can't.. I can't have anything, i can't do anything, i can't have any luxuries in life.. oh and I hate shopping in fucking Aldi because I can't afford to shop in Tesco anymore!! Luckily for me, I don't have to shop with the other poor people of Dover as Alan does it and he isn't bothered. I hate the shop, i hate the people that shop there and i feel like a poor person when i go there. I feel people look at me (dirty smelly people) and think i am the same as them..
Hannah has a driving test soon, so when she passes, we will have to get my car sorted so she can use it for work as she does shift work, so even when my car is on the road, I won't get to use it!
I thought I could do better than Val, but really I am no better, infact she is probably far better off than me. I used to look at her and hoped to god that i never looked like her but, here i am, can't afford to get my fucking hair cut, my clothes are shit, my hair is shit.. everything is shit..
Friday, 14 March 2014
Wednesday, 12 March 2014
oh my god!
Well last week what a disaster food wise. I ate and ate and ate i nearly made myself sick!!
I don't know what's going on in my little head but i seem to have lost my motivation to stick to any form of healthy eating.
So today, started off ok, 2 slices of brown bread with peanut butter, no butter, I'm thinking low GI might be a good way to go.
Exercise was a7.5 mile run, burning 681 cals, and boy was it hard, i am 8lbs heavier than normal so putting that into perspective, that's 4 bags of sugar to carry around.
I am knocking the wine on the head, i don't know if i will stop drinking it all together as yet, will see how it goes. I usually have 2 - 3 large glasses of red every evening and loads more at the weekend, so i'm trying not to have any at all. So far so good, Monday & Tuesday = no wine.
I don't know what's going on in my little head but i seem to have lost my motivation to stick to any form of healthy eating.
So today, started off ok, 2 slices of brown bread with peanut butter, no butter, I'm thinking low GI might be a good way to go.
Exercise was a7.5 mile run, burning 681 cals, and boy was it hard, i am 8lbs heavier than normal so putting that into perspective, that's 4 bags of sugar to carry around.
I am knocking the wine on the head, i don't know if i will stop drinking it all together as yet, will see how it goes. I usually have 2 - 3 large glasses of red every evening and loads more at the weekend, so i'm trying not to have any at all. So far so good, Monday & Tuesday = no wine.
Monday, 3 March 2014
Here we go again...lol
So it's Monday morning and I am thinking that i need to get back on track. I have gained weight and now weigh 10stone 6lbs. I've not been running for about a month, and i've been over eating. so here we go again., back to portion control, not drinking wine every night and generally behaving. zzzzzzzzzz how boring. mmmm. I'm not sure if i'm ready for it to be honest but will give it a go. I think it will be easier when the weather improves and i can get back to running and generally feeling happier about myself.
It's so easy to gain weight, but a bugger to lose it. I will not be dieting, i will not be following a plan, i will be plain old healthy eating and not over eating.. Sounds simple and that's what it should be.
I posted recently about people i work with being on the 'slim fast diet' well that lasted for all about 4 weeks.. pah, told you didn't I..lol
I have ordered one of these, i have not been drinking water of late and need to do so. I found whilst drinking water my skin was better, i felt better.. This little bottle filters water (about 300 bottles worth) I do not have access to decent drinking water at work so this little number will come in handy.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bobble-Sport-Water-Bottle-Magenta/dp/B009XDJS9Y/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1393847056&sr=8-3&keywords=bobbles+bottle
It's so easy to gain weight, but a bugger to lose it. I will not be dieting, i will not be following a plan, i will be plain old healthy eating and not over eating.. Sounds simple and that's what it should be.
I posted recently about people i work with being on the 'slim fast diet' well that lasted for all about 4 weeks.. pah, told you didn't I..lol
I have ordered one of these, i have not been drinking water of late and need to do so. I found whilst drinking water my skin was better, i felt better.. This little bottle filters water (about 300 bottles worth) I do not have access to decent drinking water at work so this little number will come in handy.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bobble-Sport-Water-Bottle-Magenta/dp/B009XDJS9Y/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1393847056&sr=8-3&keywords=bobbles+bottle
Friday, 24 January 2014
It annoys me so much!
Today's weigh in.. 10stone 2lbs 6.0z. not a huge loss but a loss ..
So at work yesterday, 5 women have been discussing their diets. They are all nutters, lol. One has lost 5lbs in 2 weeks, when asking what she eats, not sure if she has breakfast, but she has a bowl of homemade soup for lunch and a bowl of soup with a slice of bread or a roll for dinner.. Yep that's it. Well yes she will lose weigh but surely when she goes back to eating normally that will go on quicker than anything. She's obsessed with food, eats non stop then diets.. will she learn..No i don't think so. another is having shakes for breakfast and lunch and a healthy dinner. she does have a snack of raw veg at say 11.30.. not sure what she does in the afternoon as i don't always work with her. Not sure if this diet will work as shakes do become a tad boring and i've never found them to be satifying, have you? another is sort of following the Slimming world plan, now she has done really well on SW and lost shed loads of weight, then stopped and went back to her normal eating, Subways, huge bags of crisps, not grab bag size but the big bags, sweets, coke and other the other bad but nice things we all love. I talk about excercise at work and suggest to help then along why not go back to Zumba (a few of them used to go to classes) and they reply 'i'd love to but i don't get time' An hour a week.. surely you can spare an hour, go after work, before work.. but noooo, they are to busy. 1 has a small child that her husband could look after, the others don't have children.. so 1 hour out of 24hrs is nothing. It does annoy me when they say they really want to exercise but when you try and help, they make excuses that they 'don't get time' When really they are saying 'can't be arsed'.
some of them say they wish they could be skinny like me, i'm not skinny, i am in fact overweight with a BMI of 26.. I am like I am because i exercise, i don't eat crap (well not all the time) I would love to have a flat tummy and it's not from not trying that i don't. I would love to be lighter but i'm not and that's not because i don't try .. I Do try really hard.. I
Anyway, i have just got back from my run and now i am going to have a long soak in the bath.. bliss :-)
So at work yesterday, 5 women have been discussing their diets. They are all nutters, lol. One has lost 5lbs in 2 weeks, when asking what she eats, not sure if she has breakfast, but she has a bowl of homemade soup for lunch and a bowl of soup with a slice of bread or a roll for dinner.. Yep that's it. Well yes she will lose weigh but surely when she goes back to eating normally that will go on quicker than anything. She's obsessed with food, eats non stop then diets.. will she learn..No i don't think so. another is having shakes for breakfast and lunch and a healthy dinner. she does have a snack of raw veg at say 11.30.. not sure what she does in the afternoon as i don't always work with her. Not sure if this diet will work as shakes do become a tad boring and i've never found them to be satifying, have you? another is sort of following the Slimming world plan, now she has done really well on SW and lost shed loads of weight, then stopped and went back to her normal eating, Subways, huge bags of crisps, not grab bag size but the big bags, sweets, coke and other the other bad but nice things we all love. I talk about excercise at work and suggest to help then along why not go back to Zumba (a few of them used to go to classes) and they reply 'i'd love to but i don't get time' An hour a week.. surely you can spare an hour, go after work, before work.. but noooo, they are to busy. 1 has a small child that her husband could look after, the others don't have children.. so 1 hour out of 24hrs is nothing. It does annoy me when they say they really want to exercise but when you try and help, they make excuses that they 'don't get time' When really they are saying 'can't be arsed'.
some of them say they wish they could be skinny like me, i'm not skinny, i am in fact overweight with a BMI of 26.. I am like I am because i exercise, i don't eat crap (well not all the time) I would love to have a flat tummy and it's not from not trying that i don't. I would love to be lighter but i'm not and that's not because i don't try .. I Do try really hard.. I
Anyway, i have just got back from my run and now i am going to have a long soak in the bath.. bliss :-)
Friday, 17 January 2014
friday..
It's Friday already, yayyy.. here comes the weekend, although i have nothing wonderful planned just being here is enough..
weighed myself today, i'm not really dieting just healthy eating..
weight 10stone 3lb.6
I have been a little naughty today, had low fat yoghurt and a desert spoon of Special K, didn't have lunch, for dinner, i had a grilled steak sandwich on white bread with grilled tomato with salad. followed by a tiny bowl of icecream..
weighed myself today, i'm not really dieting just healthy eating..
weight 10stone 3lb.6
I have been a little naughty today, had low fat yoghurt and a desert spoon of Special K, didn't have lunch, for dinner, i had a grilled steak sandwich on white bread with grilled tomato with salad. followed by a tiny bowl of icecream..
Friday, 10 January 2014
first run in a while
So, now back on the wagon, weighed in last week at 10.6.8 (not happy about that) and weighed in this morning (have only been healthy eating since Monday) at 10st 4.6.
Today was the first run since 11/12/13, almost a month to the day since we went last time. It was a beautiful day and not raining for once, so we just had to go for a run. We run our usual 7.5m which is by far not an easy run. I was thinking that we really should have run 5k rather than throwing ourselves into a long run. Anyway, we did OK 1hr 29mins, not fast but we did it and will only improve on the time My aim this year is to run a half marathon, not competitively just me and Al.
I have not made any new years resolutions, don't see the point. I am just going to keep on running and eat healthily. I am however hoping this year will be better than last year, last year was pretty tough with family issues.. Keeping my fingers crossed for this year.. Things can only get better xx
Well Happy New Year to anyone that reads this blogs
Sunday, 5 January 2014
Monday's diet ..
When I first started my blog i called it 'Mondays diet', well tomorrow is Monday and i'm starting my diet again. Not so much a diet but healthy eating, I have spent the month of December and first week of January eating, eating crisps, chocolate and puddings and drinking tons of wine and my favourite tipple Baileys. I have gained at least 7lbs and now is the time to get back to how i used to be. Slimmer, fitter and feeling good.
So this evening is my last supper.. Indian takeaway, by far my most fave food. It's been ordered, collected and eaten and now, i'm sat here feeling so full up and uncomfortable but really satisfied.
So here's to Monday's Diet
Happy New Year
So this evening is my last supper.. Indian takeaway, by far my most fave food. It's been ordered, collected and eaten and now, i'm sat here feeling so full up and uncomfortable but really satisfied.
So here's to Monday's Diet
Happy New Year
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